Emotional Intelligence: The Leadership Skill No One Talks About Enough

In today’s competitive and ever-evolving work environment, effective leadership requires more than just technical skills or strategic thinking. One key trait that is often overlooked, but essential to great leadership is emotional intelligence (EQ). By the way, this isn’t anything new. The best managers have, since time immemorial, built trusting relationships. Leaders who master EQ don’t just manage tasks—they build trust, foster collaboration, and inspire greatness within their teams. But what exactly is emotional intelligence, and how does it impact leadership?

What Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Emotional intelligence is the ability, and willingness, to recognize, understand, and manage both your emotions and the emotions of others. It’s a combination of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. When we examine leadership through the lens of EQ, we see a deeper connection between how leaders interact with their teams and how those teams perform.

Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in the field of emotional intelligence, identifies several leadership styles that are deeply influenced by EQ. Start by watching this video of Daniel and then let’s take a look at how these styles align with the four pillars of EQ:

1. Self-Awareness: Understanding your own emotions and how they impact your work.
2. Self-Regulation: The ability to control or redirect disruptive emotions and impulses.
3. Empathy: Recognizing emotions in others and responding with understanding.
4. Social Skills: Building strong, effective relationships and networks.

The Power of EQ in Leadership

Goleman’s research revealed that leaders with high emotional intelligence are more successful at motivating their teams, making sound decisions, and navigating conflict. But what does this look like in practice? Here’s how EQ enhances leadership:

1. Improved Decision-Making: Goleman’s leadership styles, like the Coaching and Democratic styles, are grounded in self-awareness and empathy. Leaders with high EQ are better at considering the emotions of their team and making decisions that align with both company goals and the emotional needs of their people.
2. Conflict Resolution: Leaders with high empathy (a critical pillar of EQ) can effectively manage conflict by understanding the emotions behind disagreements. Goleman’s Affiliative leadership style—focused on harmony and emotional connections—shows the power of empathy in resolving conflicts and keeping teams united.
3. Inspiring and Motivating Teams: Whether you’re leading through the Visionary style, which inspires with a compelling vision, or the Pacesetting style, which leads by example, EQ is the foundation of motivation. Leaders with high EQ know when to push for high performance and when to provide emotional support, creating a balance that energizes teams without burning them out.

How Can You Develop Your EQ?

If you want to become a more emotionally intelligent leader, you’ll need to intentionally develop your EQ. Here are some practical steps to start with:

• Reflect on Your Emotions: Take time each day to check in with yourself. What emotions did you feel during the day, and how did they impact your actions? Practicing self-awareness is key to becoming more emotionally intelligent.
• Seek Feedback from Your Team: In the spirit of Goleman’s Coaching leadership style, ask for regular feedback from your colleagues and team members about your emotional responses and leadership approach. Be open to learning and improving.
• Practice Active Listening: A key part of empathy is listening with full attention. Make an effort to truly listen when others speak, and try to understand their perspectives before responding.
• Control Your Emotions: Emotional regulation is critical for maintaining composure during high-pressure situations. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or simply taking a pause before reacting can help you stay in control.

EQ and Career Success: Why It Matters

High EQ is often what sets great leaders apart. Goleman’s research demonstrates that emotionally intelligent leaders are more successful in navigating complex relationships, motivating their teams, and driving results. Leaders who cultivate their EQ tend to rise higher in their careers, as they build trust, foster a positive work culture, and create environments where innovation and collaboration thrive.

EQ as a Key to Better Leadership

Emotional intelligence is not just a “nice-to-have” skill—it’s a fundamental aspect of effective leadership. Whether you’re leading with the Visionary, Coaching, or Affiliative style, your ability to manage emotions, inspire others, and resolve conflicts is key to your leadership success. By developing your EQ, you’ll not only become a more effective leader, but also help your team achieve greater success.

To reiterate, self-awareness is the starting point. Having “truth speakers” who tell us what we need to hear, but may not want to hear, can help us grow. Blind spots, self-delusion, and arrogance can undermine success.

As Daniel Goleman famously said, “Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence are able to inspire, motivate, and connect with others in ways that build trust and cooperation.”